Quaint Melody

I have been contemplating on whether to write about this or not because the culprits themselves might come across it but WTH, I am enraged. Take this as an etiquette 101.

When the news spread that my dad was to undergo heart surgery, many people called and voiced their concerns. Now, we really appreciated all the kind gestures but there are a few who over-did it and are in borderline of being rude.

The opportunist.
The type who seemed to care a great deal but actually wanted to take the opportunity to pursue their private agenda. He/she had made many calls prior to the op and came to visit first thing after the surgery. In the beginning, we were touched by his/her kind gesture and thought it was out of pure concern. I think not. Well, maybe part of it was, but it was mostly to create an opportunity/excuse to sell his/her products.

Right after my father was transferred out of intensive care, he/she came without any prior notice. Armed with plenty of pamphlets, he/she started on a rambling sales pitch. There was total disregard of the weak patient who had just undergone a major surgery and could hardly speak. My mum and I kept hinting him/her to stop but what did he/she do? He/she lent a deaf ear and continued with the seemingly endless long speech of how great the product is.

Now, I have nothing against direct-sales people, but there’s a time and place for everything. Trying to do a sales pitch in that situation is definitely NOT it. You don’t see me selling baby products on your wedding day, do you?!

As if that’s not enough, he/she made what seemed like a gazillions calls during the following weeks, wanting to come again. My mum actually was being quite frank and told him/her it’s not convenient for him/her to visit as we were all quite tired and some of us were coming down with flu. But still, he/she asked where we were staying and insisted on coming. I don’t know about you, but this is totally inconsiderate and highly unacceptable in my book. That wasn’t the end of it either. After we were back home, he/she called my mum once again, trying to pitch a sale. This time, he/she accused my mum of not wanting to listen when my mum told him/her that she would be in contact if she was interested. Aiyo, you said la, where got people like that one?!

An advise for you, when you keep blabbing on your sale pitch and people only answer with ‘erm, ahuh, ic…etc’, take it as a cue to stop and run with the wind! They are simply not interested. Don’t keep coming back for the shoot-down. It will only make people agitated and have a bad impression of you and your hard-selling tactics. I simply have zero tolerance for a behaviour like that. BAH!

The me-me-me type.
The this the type who gets angry if we don’t follow what they want. They only cared about their own needs and whether they were the first ones who knew about any news. They got angry when the patient told them he was too tired for visitors and had kindly rejected their visits. A phone conversation between me and the said culprit went as followed:

Me: Hello Aunt-so-and-so, I am calling to tell you that the surgery is a success and my father is doing very well now.

MMM: Oh, have you called other people about this? Who else knows about this?
You know I called your dad weeks before the surgery and wanted to visit him, but he rejected my request, said that he would like to rest and would not at home at that time. Why like that one? Why didn’t he want to let me visit?

Me: Well, we went away because he needed to rest and didn’t want anyone to disturb him lo.
MMM(still didn’t get the hint and continued to blame us for not letting her visit): AIyo, I wanted to come and discuss about it with him ma. Why like that one?!

Me: …..

Finally, a kind reminder:

Always call before visiting someone, this goes without saying. It is quite rude to go and visit someone without giving them notice. This is a considered an invasion of privacy. People may have had prior engagements or may be too busy to entertain you. Be a little considerate. Plus it saves you the trouble of going all the way to people’s home and finding out that they are not in. So it really plays out well for everyone.

The other thing is, when you are visiting, always bear in mind that the patient needs his rest, and his lunch! Don’t over-stay your welcome or come during lunch hour! I can’t keep count on how many people who chose to visit during meal times and sit until the cows came home. The patient has been starved in many occasions. ;(

p/s: If you are offended by this post, then you probably is the culprit. Yes you! It’s time to do a self-revision of your manners!. GRRRR…

Now that we are back at home with everything settling down, I finally have time to look back on what happened in the past two months. It’s been such a roller-coaster ride and it’s been pretty much like a dream.

I flew back to Singapore from NZ via SIA just before CNY. We had decided to spend the first few days of Chinese New Year in Singapore quietly so that my dad could rest well and avoid all the hustle and bustle back home. After that, we spent another week at home before we sent my dad to the hospital in KL.

I cannot start to describe how I felt throughout this whole ordeal. It must have been the most taxing and agonising period in my life. I was almost in a daze most of the time and could not really comprehend what was happening, though I may not have shown it. My mum and I knew what was to happen, but it was not until the briefing the day before the surgery that reality really sunk in� my dad was going to undergo a major heart surgery.

The surgery was scheduled on 1st of March in the morning. Dad did not really say anything but I could see he was worried sick. We tried to fill the air with lame jokes and empty conversations. Finally the moment came and we accompanied the nurse to wheel my dad to the operating theatre. It was a dreadful journey. Nothing but silence filled the air. As we approached the operating theater, I feared deep in my heart that it would be my last moments with my dad. But I tried hard not to cry as I didn’t want my dad to see that. Once my dad had entered the OT, we waited outside in the waiting area. We had been told it would be a 4-5 hour surgery, which turned out not to be the case. It would have been an agonising wait had it not been for my friends who dropped by and kept me and my mum company, thus lifting our morale.

After roughly two and a half hours, a nurse came to the waiting area and told us the doctor would like to have a word with us. Now, if you are an avid TV series fan, you would think that this would be bad news; doctor wanting to speak to the family of patient half-way through the surgery. Well, we thought so too and walked towards the door with our hearts almost falling out of our chests. Well, DON’T believe everything you see on TV (like a fool we did), this was not the case. There, we saw the doctor and with a big smile on his face, he told us everything went very well and the surgery was a success. PHEW~ we felt a big big weight being lifted from our shoulders right then and there. (They should really teach the nurse not to scare people like that!! We almost had a heart attack right there!

Then we were directed to go into the ICU area to briefly see my dad, who at that stage still hadn’t woken up yet. No words can describe how I felt at that moment. It was the strangest feeling looking at my dad, lying on the bed, all weak and powerless. The reality really hit home at that very moment.

Dad was transferred out of ICU and into normal ward the following afternoon. I was pretty much in a daze for the following few days. Sleep deprived and being on an emotional roller-coaster is definitely not a good combination. Luckily we pulled through, the hardest part is behind us now and we just need to concentrate on making sure my dad takes one thing at a time and let his body heal (and believe me, it is the toughest part yet). That’s right, no hurry dad! You hear that?!

Special thanks.

A very special thanks to all my friends who have been incredibly supportive and went out of their ways to help us. I am deeply touched and no words can express how glad I am to have kind souls like you in my life. Well, you know who you are. It is people like you who helped us through the difficult times. And for that, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I would also like to say a big THANK YOU to all of you who have sent prayers, texts, emails, messages our way. Thank you very much for your support and encouraging words. We really appreciate all the kind thoughts. Thank you!

I have to blog this before I forget about it. But I highly doubt I would as it is just too funny. Anyway here goes.

I was at Jusco few weeks ago and queuing up at the cashier. There was a man in front of me paying and a middle aged woman behind me. After a short while, I realised I was queuing in the wrong direction and quickly walked over to the other side. Now, what I did not expect was that the middle age ah so(aunty) who was standing behind me went ahead and cut my queue. I most definitely cannot stand people like that. I firmly but politely told her ‘please queue up’. What was to happen next is beyond comprehension. She had childishly threw the only one thing she was intending to buy, and rudely barked ‘Then you take the whole queue la’ before stomping away!

It actually took me some time to register what she had just said. Even the cashier was in awe of what had happened. Aiyo, aunty, didn’t you learn this at school? Even kids at kindergarten could behave better than she did. I wonder if she has any kids, and how she would have taught them. The thing is, since she had only a single purchase, I would have let her pay first if she had asked politely. Well, that’s life eh?! It’s always fun to see some silly people making a fool out of themselves once in a while.

This blog will go into a hiatus for a little while. My father went through a body check and found out that one of his heart arteries is block. He needs to receive surgery soon as the situation is quite serious. I am trying to get back to be by his side as soon as possible.

Please keep a prayer for him. I appreciate your kindness whole-heartily.

Update: After a day of running around like a headless chicken, I could finally calm down and think things through clearly. Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers. My dad is ok for now and the date of surgery has yet to be set. The doctor recommended it to be down within a month. I’m told not to go back for now. Decided to continue blogging as it helps to keep me sane and not worry so much. Once again, thank you for all the messages, sms and calls. Me and my family will get through this difficult time.

站在喧囂的城市中，感覺寂寞。忽然想起這首歌。

寂寞城市

寂寞城市今晚的夜色很美
美得讓人想遲一點睡
若是夜空少了星星的點綴
月亮會不會纍
這夜色凄凄的美
沒有愛的人容易憔悴
就像霓虹般亮麗的周圍
只是一種寂寞頹廢
城市裡所有寂寞的人類
有幾個和我一樣偷偷的流淚
若是將它一滴一滴積纍
會不會流成一條冰冷的河水
城市裡所有寂寞的人類
有幾個像我一樣厭倦了疲憊
若是真心一顆一顆的摧毀
會不會全世界和我傷悲
整座城市陷入漆黑
孤獨人在尋找自己的定位
偽裝變成了一種防備
防備怕被人看穿心碎

LONELY TOWN

High and lonesome blows the wind
In Lonely Town
Well I can see you come from Lonely Town
by the angle of your eye
As you cast an anxious glance around
for a way to say goodbye
You’re wary of a lovin’ heart
that could rope or tie you down
Cause lovin’ hearts go homeless
on the streets of lonely town

CHORUS:
Where the tears fall on fields of broken dreams
And a love call is never what it seems
And when you’re torn down by a heart that can’t be found
You might be allowed to hang around
Lonely Town
Lonely Town

Well you sparkle like a teardrop
though I’ve never seen you cry
And you break a heart so casually
you never seem to try
Then you lead your walking wounded
on the pathway sloping down
Through the maze of good intentions
to the gates of Lonely Town

REPEAT CHORUS

Where the victors and their victims
lead their symbiotic lives
And jealousy and treachery
parade as man and wife
Where the misbegotten children
stone the hapless circus clown
Who takes their jeers for laughter
on the streets of Lonely Town

Well they scorn you when you get there
and they mock you when you leave
Cause there ain’t no room in Lonely Town
for a soul that still believes
That a heart can feel redemption
that a true love can be found
Lovin’ hearts alone can
break the spell of Lonely Town

REPEAT CHORUS

High and lonesome blows the wind In Lonely Town